if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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