WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
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You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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