It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
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Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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