this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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