Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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