I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
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1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
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I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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