i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
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She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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