No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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