I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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