ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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