Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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