i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize