D3 body, D1 cock
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize