Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Green mimosas i think yes
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize