I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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