Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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