Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
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I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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