I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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