i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be naked everywhere
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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