i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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