Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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