Your tits are I can't wait for
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize