I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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