are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize