i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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