Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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