She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
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You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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