Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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