We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize