fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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