My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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