dude i'm inner monologue high
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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