Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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