It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
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I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
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i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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