we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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