i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
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We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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