Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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