Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize