Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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