I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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