Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
