I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize