Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
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Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
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What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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