Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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