i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize