I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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