Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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