Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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