I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize