I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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